February 28, 2017 | What are listicles? A term so new, my Spell Check doesn't recognize it. What is their inexplicable allure?
A listicle is an article whose premise is more a list than an article. The internet is cluttered with them. "Seven signs of Heart Attack." "Fourteen Places to See Before You Die." "Ten Signs He's Not Ready for Commitment." "Five Abs Exercises to a Summer Six-Pack."
They draw me in with their definitive numbers.
The ad execs and spin doctors are experts at these seemingly conclusive and absolute gatherings of information. Are there really only 17 up-and-coming neighborhoods in America? Are you sure there are only 5 reasons why author pen names are a bad idea? Are there seriously only 20 places on earth where you can find your inner happiness?
I am an avid devotee of the To-Do List. I have apps for them on my cell phone. I write them on notepads. I painstakingly categorize them in my Bullet Journal (shout out to Ryder Carroll, creator. Check them out here!) My devotion to keeping lists and making records wormed its way into the mindset of one of my characters (Jocelyn) who calls journals "jotters" and gives one to everyone she knows, intent that no memory will be forgotten. And, wouldn't you know it, I ended up telling the part of her story by means of her family members' jotter entries. So, as you see, I'm devoted to the cause. I mean it when I say I'm addicted, and I wrote Jocelyn that way, too. You can check out Jocelyn's story here.
My husband has learned NEVER to throw away random papers on the kitchen counter because one of them could be my To-Do List. He knows I would go through the trash to find it. No kidding. I once drove thirty minutes to return to a department store when I realized I'd left my Christmas List at the register. I called first and told them to find it and hold it for me, because I would go through their trash, too, if that's what it took to get my list safely back in my hands. My husband is happy that all of my lists are now compiled into my journal, where nothing will tempt him to toss it in the trash, and I'm happy that all of my check-mark possibilities are centrally located. Why is that so great? Because I am addicted to checkmarks. I take great joy in making that checkmark when each item is completed. You read that correctly. JOY. GREAT JOY. Those two small pen strokes feel magnificent. Every. Single. Time.
I've gone so far as to add mundane daily tasks to my list; things I know I will accomplish anyway, like making my bed, or brushing my teeth, just so that I can have more of those momentary checkmark bursts of joy.
I pad my tasks. Whatever. At least I admit it.
I think the writers of these listicles are aware of people like me. They are targeting those of us, addicted to the checkmark rush, who feel compelled to know "The 8 Places Deadly Mold is Growing in Your Home Right Now." They know I will read the listicle, examine those 8 places for mold, and then add them to my To-Do List so that I can check off each eradication individually. I know I'm not alone in this. I've heard others confess they're also driven to the checkmark.
It's genius, really. List it, and we will read.
And then we will accomplish each task so that we can pick up a pen, and with those two strokes, make the checkmark in the box. Done, and done.
Did I just check off the task "Write a Blog Post about Listicles" on my To-Do List? Yes. Yes, I did. And it felt great.
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