Day 64: Yesterday was National Grammar Day. On their website it says “Language is something to be celebrated, and March 4 is the perfect way to do it. It’s not only a date, it’s an imperative: March forth on March fourth to speak well, write well, and help others do the same!” But yesterday was also Sunday, and I don’t think much about grammar on Sunday. Oh, who am I kidding? That’s not true. I think about it every day!
There’s a weird radar running through my thought process. It pings on grammatical inconsistencies. I don’t do it on purpose unless I’m physically editing. The rest of the time it happens organically. I think I may have an extra grammar gene. This doesn’t mean I don’t make grammatical errors. It means I beat myself up when I make them. The grammar gene is a curse. For example, as I typed these sentences, I used the word “that” three times and the word “very” twice. My brain pinged, I cringed inwardly, and then I removed them and reworded the paragraph. What’s my problem?
I blame it all on Mark Twain’s advice in a letter to a student named D. W. Bowser. He said “I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English—it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don’t let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them—then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.”
Do you see? The grammar habit has fastened itself upon me, and ridding myself of it is proving impossible. Twain is also quoted as saying:
“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
My mom totally would’ve pinned that quote to her company towels. March forth with good grammar, people. Can you guess this week’s theme? #MomsCompanyTowels #grammarphile #grammarphobe #wordnerd #twainadvice #nationalgrammarday #marchfourth
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