Day 319: Lesson Learned: When we moved into our first home 24 years ago and I was a young mom in my twenties, the first women to befriend me in the neighborhood were a pair of elderly sisters; one who lived next door to me, and the other who lived around the corner. They introduced me to their friends, and before I had time to think about my new surroundings, I already belonged there.
Elaine and Hortense reminded me of my mother. They shared their wisdom with me. They shared historical facts and interesting stories about the home we had moved into. They invited me to bake with them, to quilt with them, and to sit by them at church.
Elaine regularly showed up at my back door with a warm hot milk cake with instructions to return her pan when we were finished. She had a love for beautiful shoes. She taught me how to prune a rose bush and thin the primrose border. When she came to see the new hardwood floor we had installed, she said “Ah, dark wood floors are beautiful. And then the dust comes.” She was right, of course. Every time I Swiffer the dust from the floor, I think of her.
In her eighties, Hortense still baked almost every day, and gave it all away. She would show up to my home with braided egg bread tucked into an embroidered tea towel that was “mine to keep.” She left bags of freshly shucked corn-on-the-cob on our porch. She told me stories about the old days that made me laugh so hard my sides ached. She would say “SS doesn’t stand for Social Security. It stands for Smart and Sassy.”
As their health began to fail, I made visits to them, and always came away knowing I had gotten more out of the visit than they did. They lived full lives and weren’t afraid to share what life had taught them. It was heartbreaking when my elderly friends passed away, but I think the whole exercise in friendship was their way of priming me to do the same for the younger generation. They were smart and sassy, and I miss them, still, so I wrote this for them. I call it Smart and Sassy.
You think I am slow? That my intellectuality fades? That would be your youth thinking for you. For youth is arrogant and superior. Do not let your spry step and quickness to use the latest invention deceive you. I may move more slowly than I did. My skin may sag and my joints may creak, but my brain is fully firing with experience you cannot yet tout. I have knowledge borne of pain and trial. I have understanding sculpted by a million experiences. I have perspective gleaned through a thousand paradigm shifts. Although my answers may come a bit slower, they will be worth your wait. So, sit a moment, and visit with me.
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