Day 214
- JanaLee Cox Longhurst
- Aug 2, 2018
- 2 min read
Day 214: One year ago, today. My thoughts are filled with the events of exactly one year ago, today. The day we welcomed our grandson, Will, into our family, and the day we sent him home to Heavenly Father.
All week long, I've been quoting grandmothers, so today, I'll speak for myself, since I am also a grandmother. I have six beautiful and perfect grandkids, but I only get to grandmother five of them, because our sixth grandchild, Will, went straight to the perfect care of his heavenly grandmothers.
Our eldest son and his wife had already graced us with two grandsons, and we were all so very excited for their third son to arrive. When each of our grandchildren were born, I made them a quilt, and we had just been discussing the pattern and color for Will's quilt when his parents were given the news that Will would not be on earth for very long.
Our focus shifted, and instead of sewing a quilt, Will's parents asked me to sew an angel gown - a very tiny burial gown for his very tiny body. Every stitch was an honor and a privilege. I poured every ounce of my grandmotherly love and attention into those stitches, and today as I think about Will, the same quiet peace fills my heart.
Today is Will's first birthday. We should be buying him toys and making an elaborate smash cake for him to sink his chubby fingers into. Instead, we are arranging flowers on his grave.
Grandmothering is generally thought of as being easier than parenting, because grandmothers aren't embroiled in the day-to-day challenges. They get to spoil their grandkids and then send them home to let their parents deal with the hard stuff. But that isn't really true, because grandmothers don't stop being mothers when the next generation arrives. Even though our children are adults, we don't stop mothering. We don't stop worrying and praying for them. And our hearts don't stop aching for them when they face the terrible and terrifying parts of life. Grandmothers mother AND grandmother at the same time. Grandmothering is not for the faint of heart. Grandmother is a hard-earned title.
My son and his wife are amazing people. A year ago, in the face of such heartbreak, they pulled together to make every moment count. The memories of Will's 90 minutes with us will forever be emblazoned on my soul. And now a year has gone by, and still, Will's parents are amazing. They have worked diligently to make sure everyone remembers William is a member of our family. I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude for them.
It is a grand relief to imagine Will in heaven, being showered with love from his many great grandparents. If a boy can be spoiled in heaven, I imagine those great-grandmothers are making Will the best angel smash cake a one-year-old ever tore apart. How grateful I am for those women. I know they will add another heaping measure of love into that cake for us who are still here on earth, because they were our mothers first, and they know just what we need to make it back home.
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